Things to never say to a Naturalista????

1.”Can I touch it??!!”

Firstly, on a point of order it’s a she (Coutore is her name). Secondly, no! You can’t touch her. Bruhhh I can't even touch her unless I’m styling her. Why, you ask??? I don’t have curly natural hair, my hair is coiled. So when you decide to put your hands on her, she gets mad and the whole style is ruined. Unlike other natural textures, 4B-4C doesn't just bounce back when pressure is applied, it’s sassy, it sulks and then staying up late working on that braid/twist out, was for nothing.
(But then again it’s your life. Touch her at your own risk. Don’t be surprised if your hands are oily afterwards cause I literally put actual oils (coconut, olive, castor & avocado) on my hair.

2. “Do you wash it?”

This is a BASIC hair regimen, we do put in time.

This question hits me deep. Exactly what are you implying when you ask this?? I'm not sure if you go around asking everyone if and when they wash their hair. Me, personally, I wash my hair fornightly (once every 2 weeks). Why??? I never understood when my white friends would complain about their being dirty and having to constantly wash it.But when I went natural, it made sense guys! So basically my hair is coily and my friend “Becky’s” hair is straight. This means that it's easier for the oils/moisture from her head to travel down her hair shaft while mine have to fight to flourish (as usual). Most natural sistas co-wash their hair(wash their hair with conditioner as opposed to shampoo-which strips their hair of those few oils that have managed to travel down the hair shaft) often but only use shampoo when necessary.


3. “Why are you making a big deal, just go put water in it.”
I still don't know what I did to deserve such sassy and stubborn hair. Unlike other naturalistas, if I wet my hair it doesn't do the curly and appropriate things, what my hair does is shrink 100-0 real quick. So when it’s raining and you see me making a big deal, please know how deep it really is for me. You now how you felt when you'd leave food in the fridge for the next day, you'd even dream about how good it’s going to taste-and your sibling eats it. Yes, that's EXACTLY how I feel when my bomb braidout is ruined by the rain. So next time it rains come up with a solution ORRR just shurrup.


4. “Why don't you wear your hair like this more often??”
In order for me to achieve this style. It takes me about 2 hours to prepare the night before, 5 minutes to take down in the morning and an additional 15 minutes for me to build up the confidence to leave my room (cause sometimes it looks sick, not the good sick though). When I can, I will do the things to my hair not because you told me to but cause “I'm a grown woman, I can do whatever I want.”

5. “When are you gonna relax your hair?”
I don’t even have to explain what's wrong with this statement. It’s basically offering a recovered coke-addict, a line of coke. Please don't do it, ah beg! (Natural sistas if you're  feeling extra sassy when asked this question smile and say, “When your edges grow back.”

This question should just NEVER be asked:"Does your hair even grow bruhhh?"

Stay woke